Drowning in your blood

 

Sadness, anxiety, hate, anguish, revenge, argument, fight, murder, SIN (a knowing smile!)

I’ve lived too long and I’m beginning to find happiness in my carnal nature happily living in a world of lawlessness and contributing to it every chance I get, drowning in the sweet taste of the blood of the saints of god. All I see is RED I don’t want to change because I can never change my heart I can only pretend to love god. I know he will not accept me because I have chosen a side that gives me pleasure

filled with all things that delight my heart where am I god?...... where are you god?! I feel like I’m running circles in a maze, lying on the ocean bed with nothing but darkness the pressure of sin I’m in clenching my chest tighter every second making it impossible to breathe the breath of life you had given me once.

Is this what it feels like to die forever? eternal fire that burns my soul the unending torture of being separated from the creator of this universe, from the creator of my heart, I cry out to you lord I’ve drowned, I can’t breathe under the curse of my sins lend me your hand, lift me up, I tremble, there is no strength left inside me, I fear my spiritual death has come I’ve lost sight of your countenance, look into my eyes lord and give rest to my suffering soul I pray, hear my voice even though no one can, look in my heart and pour your strength in my heart.

My life is but like the ocean wave fading as soon the twinkling of a star's light, be with me just for that time just for the twinkling of a star's light, I won’t take long lord do not abandon me lord….

Give me a new heart, bring me back to life with your touch, I’m void and without form mold me with your hands in your image make me strong in the warmth of your grace and when I’m ready fill me with your love and I will be ready to serve you my creator!   

From - PVB

To - The Loving creator (Jesus)